Easy Pasta Carbonara

While not a true pasta carbonara, as I've taken a few shortcuts, like using ramen, I think the ease of this recipe more than makes up for any alteration.

Carbonara is traditionally made with pancetta, but I prefer the additional robustness that bacon brings to the dish. Both pancetta and bacon are made from pork belly that has been cured with salts and, often, other spices. But bacon is also smoked, though usually "cold-smoked," at temperatures that do not cook the meat. Both pancetta and bacon should be cooked before consuming.

Ingredients

- 1½ Cups water
- 1 Package Ramen Noodles, flavor as preferred
- 2 Tbsp Bacon Bits, to taste; real bacon, please
- 1 Egg, large, whipped smooth
- 1 Tbsp Parmesan Cheese, grated, or more, to taste
- ¼ to ½ tsp Ground Black Pepper, liberal amount, to taste

A few notes about the ingredients

- Keeping in mind that this is a certified Effort-Less recipe, I'm suggesting the use of prepared ingredients, but feel free to prepare your own.

- The Black Pepper is more an ingredient than a seasoning, so it should have a noticeable presence in the eating.

- The Egg will not be fully cooked but will manifest as a creamy sauce

- The amount of water is less than the usual 2 Cups. That and adding the seasoning before the noodles is meant to concentrate the flavor in the noodles, since the pasta is to be drained.

Preparation

- In an appropriately-sized sauce pan, add the Ramen seasoning (from the included packet) to the water and bring to a boil.

- Add the noodles and boil for three minutes, or according to package instructions.

- Whip or beat the egg until smooth, blending-in the Parmesan Cheese and liberal amounts of Black Pepper.

- Drain the pasta.

- Immediately stir the egg mixture into the hot noodles.

- Mix in the Bacon Bits, amount to taste.

- Plate the noodles and top with more Black Pepper and Parmesan Cheese.

Serves 1

;^)

Uncle Genie’s BaconEgg Battercakes

Pancakes luxurious with egg flavor and bacon-y crunch.

Ingredients (For one hearty serving)

~ Two large Grade A eggs. (It might be possible to use pasteurized eggs—no guarantees.)

~ Two strips of bacon. (Ditto on using alternatives.)

~ Self-rising flour (Self-rising, not all purpose. Read the front of the bag*.)

~ Maple syrup or topping of choice (warmed)

Preparation

~ In a skillet or sauté pan, fry the bacon crisp. Reserve some of the drippings for cooking the cakes.

~ While the bacon is cooking: Beat the eggs well in a mixing bowl. Add salt to taste and a pinch of sugar for each egg.

~ Beat in small amounts of the self-rising flour until you have a smooth, viscous mix, not as thin as 30-weight oil, but not as thick as joint compound. You’ll want it to flow gently when you pour it in the pan, not be runny. If you over-thicken it, add quick dribbles of water just until you recover a decent fluid movement. But remember, the water is diluting the flavor. Adding another beaten egg would be the preferred recovery plan.

~ Add a teaspoon of drippings or vegetable oil or melted butter to the batter and blend in.

~ Using a weapon or tool of choice, reduce the crisp-cooked bacon to pea-sized chunks. Mix the bacon chunks into the egg batter.

~ Pour the batter into the medium-hot, bacon-greased pan, making one large or two smaller cakes. Cook over medium heat until bubbles rise through the batter and the edges begin to look lightly browned. Turn once, cook for about half the time as the first side. (If side 1 is undercooked, fry side 2 a little longer. Serve the prettier side up.)

Serve.


*If all you have is all-purpose flour, add about a quarter teaspoon baking powder--no guarantees, I'm just eye-balling it here. If you don't have baking powder, either, then go to IHOP for breakfast.

;^)

Epworth Sunday Morning Scrambled Eggs

At Divine Word College in Epworth, Iowa, these eggs (or something very much like them) were the reward for early risers on Sunday mornings back in the 1960s and 70s. This was a rich, moist concoction, thick with small chunks of smoky bacon—the best breakfast of the week.

Ingredients

~ Bacon (Real bacon, please.)

~ Eggs: The more the better; it helps keep the final product moist. To attempt this with anything less than three large Grade A ova of the Gallus domesticus will be to little purpose. (Real eggs, por favor, not the pasteurized milk-carton version.)

~ Warm buttered toast (If you need a recipe for this, you’re in trouble.)

~ Jelly. jam, preserves, marmalade and/or orange juice

Preparation

~ In a sauté pan or skillet, fry the bacon crisp; use at least one slice per egg. Do NOT drain the bacon drippings from the pan.) Keep the pan warming (not smoking or burning) on the stove afterwards.

~ While the bacon is frying: In a bowl, lightly beat the eggs; make sure the yolks are broken and blended in.

~ Break, crunch or cut the crisp bacon into pea-sized chunks and mix them into the eggs. Salt and pepper (nothing exotic) to taste.

~ Pour the mixture into the skillet or pan (the one with the drippings still in it) on medium heat. Work the eggs gently, turning to their uncooked side. DO NOT OVERCOOK. These eggs should be very moist, but not slimy. It won’t take long. (If you overcook the eggs, put ketchup or jelly on them and go ahead and eat them. Try again next week.)

Serve.

(You should exercise appropriate caution in considering eating undercooked eggs; there is a risk of salmonella or other contaminant poisoning. Read other Disclaimers.)

;^)