Short Cut Cinnamon Rolls

This recipe uses ready-made croissant dough to produce petite sweet rolls that you can brag on, with lots better home-made taste than the refrigerated cinnamon rolls in the same display case. It's so easy I'm almost embarrassed to write directions.

First things first

🠞 Preheat Oven at 350°F (177°C), yes, a lower temperature than package directions.

🠞 "Butter" (Margarine, Veggie Oil, or, heck, bacon grease) an 8-inch by 8-inch  (20-cm by 20-cm) or larger baking sheet or pan.

Ingredients

✔ 1 8-ounce (226-grams) Refrigerated Crescent Dough Sheet

✔ 3 to 4 Tablespoons spreadable Margarine or salted Butter

✔ 3 to 4 Tablespoons Granulated or Brown Sugar, or mix 'em 

✔ 1 to 2 Tablespoons Ground Cinnamon

✔ Caramel Sundae Syrup

Directions

1. On a lightly floured surface, unroll the dough sheet.

2. Slather on margarine or salted butter evenly, leaving half-inch clear on one short edge.*

3. Sprinkle on sugar evenly, again leaving half-inch of short edge clear.*

4. Sprinkle on cinnamon evenly, again leaving half-inch of short edge clear.*

5. From opposite of clear short edge, roll sheet up toward clear short edge, rolling close but not tight, then pinch clean edge against roll to finish.

6. Cut roll into 1 to 1½ i-inch (2.5 to 3.8 cm) pieces. Wet knife blade before each cut. Makes 7 to 10 rolls.

7. Place on baking sheet or pan, close together will promote height and softer edges, well-spaced will promote spread and browner edges, but not by much either way, so don't agonize over it. Or do both.

8. Bake 15 to 20 minutes (longer than package directions) until golden brown.

9. Remove from oven, cool for a few minutes, then apply the caramel sauce. WARNING: If you apply too much caramel sauce, you may find it necessary to lick up the excess from the pan. Just sayin'. 

* Amounts can be varied to taste.

;^)

Bowl me over

So, the other day I was sitting outside my rig, staring at the mountains and I’d let my mind off its leash. The old gray mass was wandering around, listening to the wind, looking at cloud shapes, sniffing the fresh air—when all of a sudden it whirls around and rushes back to me with this question:

Why do we serve pancakes on a plate?

Then you spend the entire meal chasing down errant syrup with the pancake bits you’ve impaled on your fork. Even expending all that effort, there’re still puddles of pancake syrup scattered about the plate when all the pancakes are gone.

Now I’m sure you, like I, learned in high school physics that pancakes and waffles posses the requisite properties allowing them to soak up all but the most over-thickened, bland-tasting, maple syrup substitutes. And I’m sure you, like I, have carried out the experiments proving these properties, taking note of how the bottom-most pancake absorbs the sucrose or fructose suspensions (i.e., syrup) with which it may come in contact.

How best, I wondered, to take advantage of these properties?

Eureka! I thought, serve pancakes in a bowl!

Concentrate the syrup to the center. Then, when you cut down through a stack and lift a section past your lips, you’ll be transferring saturation-point layers fully laden with maximum syrupy succulence.

I tried this out, using fried shredded wheat (Yes, Fried Shredded Wheat.) as my test medium. Works perfectly.

;^)

Fried Shredded Wheat

Recipe: Prepare shredded wheat as you would French toast. Then eat it like French toast.

Large biscuit shredded wheat,
un-fried.

This was one of my favorites growing up. But I think only my Mom and I really liked it, so we didn’t have it that often. I found the nutty taste, the crunchy texture and a near-mushy interior to be an excellent vehicle for slurps and slurps of table syrup.

That was back in the day before spoon-size mini-wheats. And bite-size mini-wheats. And frosted mini-wheats. Back then, there was just one size of shredded wheat biscuit: large. One cereal company made them into oblong pillows, another into round pods. Either way, maximum occupancy by a large cereal bowl was two biscuits.

Those large biscuits still work best for this recipe, however, any size or type of shredded wheat will work. There are just two things to keep in mind:

1. The smaller the biscuit, the longer it must soak in the egg-milk mix.
2. Frosted biscuits will burn sooner because of the sugar surfaces.

Oh, one more thing. The big, old-fashioned biscuits were manufactured without any ingredients other than wheat. That means no salt. So check your brand’s ingredient list. If there’s no salt (“sodium” on the nutrition label) listed, adding some to the egg batter may improve the taste, depending on your own salt habits.

;^)

Uncle Genie’s BaconEgg Battercakes

Pancakes luxurious with egg flavor and bacon-y crunch.

Ingredients (For one hearty serving)

~ Two large Grade A eggs. (It might be possible to use pasteurized eggs—no guarantees.)

~ Two strips of bacon. (Ditto on using alternatives.)

~ Self-rising flour (Self-rising, not all purpose. Read the front of the bag*.)

~ Maple syrup or topping of choice (warmed)

Preparation

~ In a skillet or sauté pan, fry the bacon crisp. Reserve some of the drippings for cooking the cakes.

~ While the bacon is cooking: Beat the eggs well in a mixing bowl. Add salt to taste and a pinch of sugar for each egg.

~ Beat in small amounts of the self-rising flour until you have a smooth, viscous mix, not as thin as 30-weight oil, but not as thick as joint compound. You’ll want it to flow gently when you pour it in the pan, not be runny. If you over-thicken it, add quick dribbles of water just until you recover a decent fluid movement. But remember, the water is diluting the flavor. Adding another beaten egg would be the preferred recovery plan.

~ Add a teaspoon of drippings or vegetable oil or melted butter to the batter and blend in.

~ Using a weapon or tool of choice, reduce the crisp-cooked bacon to pea-sized chunks. Mix the bacon chunks into the egg batter.

~ Pour the batter into the medium-hot, bacon-greased pan, making one large or two smaller cakes. Cook over medium heat until bubbles rise through the batter and the edges begin to look lightly browned. Turn once, cook for about half the time as the first side. (If side 1 is undercooked, fry side 2 a little longer. Serve the prettier side up.)

Serve.


*If all you have is all-purpose flour, add about a quarter teaspoon baking powder--no guarantees, I'm just eye-balling it here. If you don't have baking powder, either, then go to IHOP for breakfast.

;^)

Epworth Sunday Morning Scrambled Eggs

At Divine Word College in Epworth, Iowa, these eggs (or something very much like them) were the reward for early risers on Sunday mornings back in the 1960s and 70s. This was a rich, moist concoction, thick with small chunks of smoky bacon—the best breakfast of the week.

Ingredients

~ Bacon (Real bacon, please.)

~ Eggs: The more the better; it helps keep the final product moist. To attempt this with anything less than three large Grade A ova of the Gallus domesticus will be to little purpose. (Real eggs, por favor, not the pasteurized milk-carton version.)

~ Warm buttered toast (If you need a recipe for this, you’re in trouble.)

~ Jelly. jam, preserves, marmalade and/or orange juice

Preparation

~ In a sauté pan or skillet, fry the bacon crisp; use at least one slice per egg. Do NOT drain the bacon drippings from the pan.) Keep the pan warming (not smoking or burning) on the stove afterwards.

~ While the bacon is frying: In a bowl, lightly beat the eggs; make sure the yolks are broken and blended in.

~ Break, crunch or cut the crisp bacon into pea-sized chunks and mix them into the eggs. Salt and pepper (nothing exotic) to taste.

~ Pour the mixture into the skillet or pan (the one with the drippings still in it) on medium heat. Work the eggs gently, turning to their uncooked side. DO NOT OVERCOOK. These eggs should be very moist, but not slimy. It won’t take long. (If you overcook the eggs, put ketchup or jelly on them and go ahead and eat them. Try again next week.)

Serve.

(You should exercise appropriate caution in considering eating undercooked eggs; there is a risk of salmonella or other contaminant poisoning. Read other Disclaimers.)

;^)